Random Differences Between Iran and the US (Part 2)

For those of you who read part 1 of Random Differences, I know I said part 2 would be coming in one week, not one month. As always, life gets in the way. But here they are now- differences between Iran and the US that are as random as the day is long. A light-hearted and hopefully entertaining read during the confusing mess that is 2020. I’m pretty sure a part 3 will be coming at some point. But this time, I think I’ll play it safe and not give a time frame as to when. 

Taking candy (and birthday cake) from strangers

In the US, they beat into children’s heads not to accept candy from strangers. In Iran, we say screw that. Accept away! And I love it. Why? Because to me, it implies a sense of trust and closeness in society. My young nephew was visiting Iran for the first time, and in a Snapp, the driver offered him some candy which he all-too-enthusiastically grabbed. My sister and I exchanged a look like, “Ok, so much for teaching him not to take candy from strangers.” But in Iran, the motherland of taarof, you always offer. You offer raw almonds to your neighbor on the train, you offer the cookie you’re about to eat to the stranger taking a break next to you on the bench outside Tehran’s Grand Bazaar, you stick the straw in your juice box and offer it to the passenger next to you on the train even though- wait for it- she has her own! But, see, you already poked your straw through yours and it’s ready to go, so you offer it before you drink from it. (And for those of you wondering why these examples are so wildly specific- yes, they were all my personal experiences.) 

When it comes to accepting, it’s not a matter of, “Who is this weirdo offering me candy? Maybe there’s a razor blade in there.” Silly Americans. Rather, it’s an issue of trying to decide whether or not the taarof is authentic. And THAT, my friends, is tricky business.

Which brings us to birthday cake. 

Experience 1: A teeny tiny restaurant in Tehran. Table nearby was celebrating a birthday and had brought a cake. Before I knew it, the waiter was passing out slices of cake to everyone in the restaurant.

Experience 2: Sam Center Food Court in Tehran. Couple behind us has a birthday cake. They cut a big slice and offer it to us, but since our Snapp had arrived and we had to skedaddle, we thanked them and wished them a happy birthday.

Experience 3: Darband, Tehran. Parents are celebrating their daughter’s fourth birthday. They bring our table a huge slice of cake.

Experience 4: There’s a family picnicking in a park in Chabahar, and nearby, we’ve pitched our tent to sleep. There comes a knock on our tent flap, and- you guessed it!- a plate with a fat slice of cake. 

By now you get the idea. Iranians share their birthday cake with any strangers nearby. And for the record, it’s ok to accept. 

It’s a verbal society

This one always gets me. In the US, I feel like most people go to great lengths to avoid asking others a question and interacting in general. But in Iran, that’s the first thing you do. I’m constantly stopped on the street by someone who needs directions. Passengers in shared taxis constantly ask the driver or other passengers how much the fare is even though fares are clearly displayed on the windshield. And some cabbies are super chatty. They immediately tell you their life story or a memory they have about the place you’re going/coming from. Case in point: on my way to work once, I ended up getting out of the taxi two entire squares past my workplace and walked back just so I could hear the driver’s full story. I may be introverted, but I have to admit I enjoy these small interactions. The verbal society thing has definitely grown on me. 

The mailman

In Iran, you don’t get mail every day like you do in the US. Bills typically come in the form of an SMS, and there’s no junk mail. And that leaves little else. Unless you’re actually expecting a letter or something you ordered, there’s nothing to get. So when the mailman brings you something, he expects a tip. I learned this the hard way.

The mailman brought me an important document and went on a tirade about the hoops he had to jump through to find me (my unit number was not written on the letter). When I told some friends, they asked if I tipped him. Why would I tip the mailman? Geez, it’s not even Nowruz yet. Well, that’s part of the reason he made a big fuss- to make it seem like he worked extra hard to deliver your letter. They expect a tip. This was certainly brand new information. As it happened, I was waiting on another document which he brought the next day, so I tipped him for both days. Now, I’m not saying it was necessarily the cash because maybe he was just having a bad day the day before, but he was certainly much kinder the second day.

Toilets in the parking garage

In a lot of American horror movies or TV series, there’s some creepy scene that takes place in an empty parking garage. It’s typically a place you want to spend as little time as possible. I, for one, always quickened my pace, had my keys ready in hand, and was well aware of my surroundings before I ventured into any parking garage in the US. 

But if you want a public bathroom in Iran, in many shopping centers (especially older ones), that’s exactly where you’ll find them. I always find it funny. Especially since I’ve seen way too many slasher movies and know that when there’s a scene in a parking garage, some poor bastard is not getting out alive. But of course, there’s nothing creepy or ominous about parking garages here. 

On throwing things: notes from my EFL classroom

As an ESL/EFL teacher, I always have a ball on hand in case an activity calls for it. You know, just to mix things up. One of my classes in Iran consisted of 3 adults over 30 and 3 teenagers under 15. An odd mix, yes, but they were all the same level and got along surprisingly well. With one of my “throw the ball to another student and…” activities, I noticed the teenagers would only throw it to each other. “Come on, guys, throw it to the others, too,” I said. But I noticed they were reluctant to do so. Shyly, they would either hand it to the adult student or apologize profusely before throwing it. 

In the US, being the uncivilized heathens that we are (and in case my humor doesn’t translate in writing, let me be crystal clear that that was a joke), we just give a quick “heads up” before tossing something. But in Iran, this is considered rude. Simple as that. And a teenager throwing something to an adult? Oh, no no no. Needless to say, I had to X the ball-throwing since it clearly made students uncomfortable. Quite the cultural lesson for me. 

Making lunch for workers

Like tipping the mailman, this is another lesson I learned the hard way. In the US when anyone comes to work at your home for a few hours (say you’re painting your house), they basically take care of their own meals. When lunch time comes, either they’ve brought their own or else they leave and come back toting a 32 oz cup from McDonald’s. They eat when and what they want. 

Meanwhile in Iran, you are expected to provide both breakfast and lunch (if it’s a full day’s job). I had someone come help me clean the house once. Around midmorning, they asked if they could have a bite to eat because they felt faint. Oh, well, of course! But “a bite” turned into a full-on breakfast. Which was no problem, I just found it a little strange. When I mentioned it to my cousin, she explained why. “And FYI, you have to make them lunch, too.” Um, squeeze? “Or you can order out, whatever. But you have to provide them lunch.” 

You can imagine that if you have a job that’s going to take several days, it can get to be a bit much. But it’s expected. I have to say, I really prefer the American way on this one. 

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